In conversation with Schuyler Bailar
Schuyler Bailar (he/him) is an internationally renowned inspirational speaker, educator, and best-selling author. Recognized by Forbes 30 Under 30, the Out100, the Olympic Channel, and The Ellen Show, Schuyler was the first transgender athlete to compete on an NCAA D1 men’s team, competing for Harvard's winningest team in 50 years. Schuyler has given nearly 600 gender literacy and inclusion trainings across the country and beyond. Schuyler is a life coach and facilitates monthly support groups for the LGBTQ+ community. Beyond this, his works include his online gender literacy learning series LaneChanger, his middle-grade novel, Obie Is Man Enough, and his best-selling book, He/She/They: How We Talk About Gender and Why It Matters.
What does feminism mean to you?
Feminism is the belief in and advocacy for equality with regards to gender. Due to patriarchy, feminism specifically refers to the equality of women and other marginalized genders. While some might attempt to weaponize what they call “feminism” against certain groups they deem not women enough (women of color, trans women, intersex women; the list goes on), this is, indeed, not feminism, but rather a regurgitation and repackaging of patriarchy and racism. In fact, feminism is inherently intersectional and demands anti-racism and anti-transphobia as core tenants. The goal of feminism is collective liberation.
“..Do not let anyone convince you that your emotions are too big. You are not “too sensitive.” You are not “overreacting.” Your emotions make so much sense. And you need to feel them. Creating space to validate, to grieve, and to be present with yourself is critical. And we must also remember how powerful we are. Marginalized groups have always found a way to prevail…”
-Schuyler Bailar
You are the first openly transgender athlete to compete in any sport on an NCAA Division 1 men’s team. What was the journey like to reach this incredible milestone?
I feel so lucky to have been able to compete on the men’s team - I’d always dreamed of being able to be all of myself in my sport and swimming for the Harvard men’s team certainly provided this. But I wish that this experience was not lucky or rare. It should not be a privilege for trans people to be able to compete as ourselves.
These days, when my journey is lauded as “incredible” or “inspirational,” I feel pride, but it is mixed with deep conflict and pain. 604 anti-trans bills plague the United States in 2025. This marks the fifth consecutive record-breaking year of legislative attacks on the community. Over half of the US states have banned trans athletes - so my “inspirational” story is now nearly impossible for many trans youth across the country.
My pride is inextricable from a fierce resolve to fight for the rights of everyone to play sports and be themselves. Everyone deserves access to sports because, at the core, access to sports is access to our own bodies.
The work you do to educate people about trans rights, especially in sports, is so inspiring. What compelled you to start sharing your story with the world?
When I first realized I was transgender, I spent countless hours searching “transgender swimmer.” Finding nothing, I concluded I would have to choose between being myself and playing my sport. This was excruciating and those months were some of the loneliest I’ve experienced. It wasn’t until I began to connect with other trans people that those feelings dissipated and I found the courage to come out to my coaches, anyway. When I did not have to choose between myself and my sport, I wanted others like me to know this was possible, too. That they were possible, too. And so I made a very conscious decision not to hide. I don’t think I planned or imagined that sharing my story would become a full time job as it now is, but I’m so grateful for the path that I’ve been able to walk (or swim!) down.
Your book, He/She/They, breaks down gender identity in such a helpful way. What are pronouns and why are they such an important part of gender identity?
Pronouns are words like “he,” or “she,” or “they” (also, “I,” “me,” and “us,”!) that we use to refer to subjects without repeating their names. In many languages, such as English, pronouns are gendered and we use gendered pronouns that align with the identity of the subject to whom we are referring. Using the pronouns that an individual feels most seen and respected by can be a critical way to affirm not only their gender, but also their agency. Using someone’s pronouns correctly is an easy and powerful way to say, “I see you. I respect you. I know you know yourself best. I am listening to you when you tell me who you are.” When we refuse to use someone’s pronouns based on our own independent assumptions about someone’s gender, we not only reject their agency and autonomy, but we inherently position ourselves in a position of mock superiority, declaring, “I know you better than you know yourself. You don’t know who you are. I am going to tell you who you are.” This is not only rude and cruel behavior; it is also arrogant and inaccurate. We do not know others better than they know themselves. If adjusting pronouns feels difficult, I encourage you to learn more by reading my book!
What is a common myth about trans athletes that you want to dispel?
1. The “advantage” myth. Available evidence shows that trans women maintain no significant biological advantages over cisgender women when they undergo testosterone suppression (which is required at all levels of elite sport.) Some studies even show that trans women operate with a disadvantage compared to cisgender peers. Not to mention the emotional burden that we know minority stress places on trans and gender diverse individuals, that, no doubt, is increased for trans athletes who are repeatedly attacked with vitriol and hatred from seemingly all sides.
2. The “domination” myth. Most people cannot name a single trans athlete who has “dominated” sports. In reality, the fear that trans people will dominate sports is only that: a fear - and an unfounded one at that. There is no evidence to support this fear. Trans people are vastly underrepresented in all levels of sport due to transphobia and systemic discrimination.
3. The “fairness” myth. The idea that fairness exists in sports - and particularly in women’s sports - in the first place is fallacious. Deep inequities exist in sport that absolutely should be addressed, but trans people are not the culprits of this unfairness. Systems of oppression, namely patriarchy and racism, are the true threats to equity in athletics.
My book goes into this in depth, so I encourage your audience to grab a copy! It’s available anywhere you get books, and I narrate the audiobook. For signed copies, visit this link.
If you could share a message with trans youth around the world, what would you tell them?
These are incredibly challenging times. We are all being asked to hold an overwhelming and impossible load of emotional pain and uncertainty as fascist regimes continue to inflict violence both at home and abroad. Do not let anyone convince you that your emotions are too big. You are not “too sensitive.” You are not “overreacting.” Your emotions make so much sense. And you need to feel them. Creating space to validate, to grieve, and to be present with yourself is critical. And we must also remember how powerful we are. Marginalized groups have always found a way to prevail. Progress always moves forward, even if it is slow sometimes. I feel despair at times but it never lasts long because I am certain this oppression will not last.
What are the most meaningful actions that the FEMINIST community can take to support the trans community today?
1. Financial support. If you are able, support grassroots trans organizations. You can support my nonprofit at transinclusion.org. I also highly recommend @blacktransliberation, @forthegworls, @transtexas, and @genderlib.
2. Consume media and resources created by trans people. My book, He/She/They: How We Talk About Gender and Why It Matters can be a good starting place. I have other recommendations at pinkmantaray.com/reading.
3. Attend workshops, marches, protests, and other events to support your communities in person/directly!
As an activist, what are some practices that you use to stay grounded?
Everyone talks about self care but it can be very difficult to figure out what exactly that looks like day to day. I often ask myself, “What is the smallest thing I can do to take care of myself in this moment?” This might sound strange - why smallest? Small is sustainable and feasible. Sometimes this means I give myself 30 minutes between meetings when I would have previously taken only a few. Sometimes, this means I stretch or foam roll for a few minutes. Sometimes, this can be as small as just taking a really deep breath.
