Netflix’s You exposes the romanticization of male violence against women
CW: This post contains mentions of gender-based violence.
You is currently the most
popular show on Netflix.
The series stars Penn Badgley as Joe Goldberg, a fictional serial killer who develops obsessive “romantic” fixations on various women and ends up stalking and murdering them.
Over five seasons, You illustrates how male violence against women is romanticized by perpetrators.
Source: Refinery29, Huffpost
In You, Joe Goldberg’s inner monologue rationalizes his violent behavior through
the desire to “save” his love interests and “keep them safe.”
All too often, society teaches us that violent and abusive behaviors are a sign of “love."
Many young girls are taught from a young
age that if a boy is mean to her, it must be because he “likes” her.
These ideas continue to manifest in adulthood: over half of female homicide victims are killed by a current or former
male intimate partner.
Source: Refinery29, Huffpost
You has been criticized for fueling the problematic “sexy sociopath” stereotype by encouraging viewers to romanticize a serial killer:
By centering the perpetrator’s point of view, showing his inner monologue and glimpses of his childhood, You critics argue
that this could make viewers empathize with him and his problematic behavior instead
of the victims.
This mirrors how the press tends to center the stories of men who commit violent atrocities, rather than the stories of their victims. Often, press coverage normalizes mental health, breakups, or abusive childhoods as a trigger for men committing crimes.
Source: Refinery29
“Shows such as You perpetuate the problem of stalking and male violence against women by normalising it and even making it seem glamorous or attractive. It emboldens perpetrators and contributes to their belief that women deserve this abuse. It also means that women may be less likely to report incidents as they see this behaviour portrayed as normal in the pursuit of love/romance and men and boys start to believe that this type of aggressive pursuit of women is expected and welcomed by women.”
-Rachel Horman, chair of stalking advocacy service Paladin
You is not the first show to be accused of romanticizing gender-based violence.
In Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil
and Vile, Zac Efron portrays the infamous serial killer and rapist Ted Bundy who killed at least 30 women and girls in
the 1970s.
Bundy was known for his good looks
and charm, but some argue that the film takes this too far by glamorizing Bundy’s violence. Ted Bundy’s victims were real people with loved ones who are still alive, who presumably would not want to see Bundy’s heinous crimes dramatized on the big screen.
Source: Business Insider
Now that the series finale of You has been released, some viewers are praising the show for concluding in a way that reveals Joe’s true nature.
Whether you’re a fan of the series or not, shows like “You” reflects how “love” is often used to rationalize stalking and intimate partner violence, and women are impacted the most:
About 41% of women and 26% of men have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner.
About 15% of women have ever experienced stalking, compared to 6% of men.
Over 80% of stalking survivors have reported that the person stalking them was known to them in some way.
The cost of intimate partner violence over a victim’s lifetime is estimated at $103,767 for women and $23,414 for men. These include the costs of medical services for injuries, lost productivity at work, criminal justice, and more.
Sources: Safe Horizon, Center for Disease Control and Prevention
Take Action
Organizations supporting survivors of intimate partner violence:
@ndvhofficial
@nrcdv
@deafhotline
@childhelp
Survivor Resources ⬇️
@rainn
@metoomvmt
@strongheartsdv
@niceforwhatmvmt
@thesurvivorstrustuk
@womenforwomen
@niwrc
U.S. National Sexual Assault hotline: 800-656-4673
U.S. National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988
U.K. National Suicide Helpline: 800-689-5652
AUS Lifeline: 13 11 14
