Author Feature: Raquel Willis
FEMINIST sat down with author, writer, journalist and activist Raquel Willis to learn more about her inspiring journey towards collective liberation.
Activist and author Raquel Willis is sharing her journey in activism and self-discovery as a Black trans woman through her debut memoir, The Risk It Takes to Bloom: On Life and Liberation. The memoir explores Willis’s journey of taking risks and coming into her identity in a White patriarchal society. Willis is also the co-founder the Transgender Week of Visibility and Action, publisher of the Trans Obituaries Project, and was a speaker at the National Women’s March on Washington, D.C. in 2017.
Trans and gender non-conforming people are disproportionately targeted by the criminal justice system. Willis explores this topic as the host of the podcast “Afterlives: The Layleen Polanco Story” which details the life and legacy of Layleen Xtravaganza Cubilette-Polanco, an Afro-Latina trans woman who died at NYC’s notorious Rikers Island jail complex in June 2019. The 7-episode series unpacks the systems that failed Layleen leading up to her death through in-depth interviews with activists fighting against the criminalization of sex work, solitary confinement, and the epidemic of anti-trans violence.
To work towards a truly inclusive feminist future, we must continue to amplify and support trans people in leadership, activism, and the arts.
Order your copy of The Risk It Takes to Bloom: On Life and Liberation here.
To listen to the podcast visit Afterlives: The Layleen Polanco Story
What does being a feminist mean to you?
A: Feminism on a broad level is the belief in rights and equality for all women and humans, but it’s also so much deeper than that. Bodily autonomy is related to many feminist conversations in one way or another, whether it be the sexualization and objectification of women, sexual and domestic violence, abortion rights, human trafficking, genital mutilation, pornography, medical sexism and abuse, and the forced covering of women in many countries. These issues stem directly from seeking to control and oppress women’s bodies, so in my opinion fighting for bodily autonomy in an intersectional way is a key component in the liberation of all women.
What gave you the courage to share your story?
A: When I first spoke to my friends about my experience with violence, I learned that every one of them had also experienced abuse and that multiple of them had very similar stories to my own. If this many women in my immediate circle had been victims of violence, then this must be a systemic issue. Upon research, I learned that 1 in 3 women worldwide have been subjected to either physical or sexual violence according to the World Health Organization, yet these stories are usually kept in the dark. It helped me to feel less shame about what happened to me knowing that I was far from alone, and it inspired me to break the silence about sexual and domestic violence in hopes that I could make change.
Who is your book for?
A: My book is an empowering love letter to survivors of violence or abuse, but it’s also meant for anyone who's ever been mistreated or injusticed just for being a woman. I believe that so many people who have been oppressed by power structures would find my book relatable in some way, as I speak a lot about how the Justice system is used as a tool of oppression. This book is also for anybody who wants to better understand the experiences of women and of victims of violence within the Justice System.
What are you most hoping your readers will take away from this book?
A: This book is meant to highlight the reasons why it’s only 6% of victims who report to the police in Canada, and to dispel harmful myths about sexual and domestic violence. I’m hoping for readers to learn about the way the Justice System functions and how it can be used as a tool of oppression, which is not only the way it was designed systematically, but the way it can be deliberately manipulated by the perpetrator as a tool to further abuse their victim. This NEEDS to change if we want to make victims feel safe enough to come forward. This book is also meant to be validating and empowering for survivors of violence, and to help educate about consent, coercion, abuse, power dynamics, safety planning when leaving, sexual trauma and many more important issues.
FEMINIST co-founder Aisha Becker-Burrowes sat down with author, writer, journalist and activist Raquel Willis In light of her latest podcast series and debut memoir on IG Live 📺 Watch the conversation
How can we, as a society, work towards a future without sexual violence?
A: Education and having these uncomfortable conversations are some of the biggest ways that we can change society’s perception of sexual violence, because there are a lot of harmful misconceptions out there. Many people wrongly believe that it’s not rape if it’s your partner, that coercion is not rape, that the actions or inactions of the victim caused the rape, that the violent or degrading nature of pornography is normal, or that the rape didn’t happen if the victim chooses not to report or a conviction isnt reached. These are myths along with many others that need to be combatted through education. Giving victims more rights to privacy and bodily autonomy within the Justice System, preventing perpetrators from using sexism or racism as a defense, and holding police officers and prosecutors accountable for their reasons not to investigate or press charges, could also be steps towards making victims feel safe enough to come forward. These are not definitive answers, but simply my ideas for dismantling the rape culture that harms everyone.
What are some common misconceptions about domestic violence you would like to dispel?
A: It’s a myth that people who get into abusive relationships are just choosing the wrong partners or are attracted to people who mistreat them, when the reality is that abusive people are calculated and they often know not to abuse the victim until they have that person trapped in some way. They can wait until they get their partner pregnant, get married or isolate them before starting explicit abuse to ensure that the victim stays. This goes hand in hand with the myth that abuse victims who stay or return to the relationship are not truly being abused, while this can actually be evidence of psychological abuse or a perpetrator who is dangerous. 77% of domestic violence related homicides happen upon separation according to BWSS, which speaks for the level of danger a victim could be in directly after leaving. The abuse usually does not end after separation, and can actually get worse. Safely leaving domestic violence requires significant support, safety planning, financial means, and often legal assistance, which not every woman has access to.
To anybody who is a survivor of domestic and sexual violence, what words would you like to say to them?
A: Things I want to say to other survivors:
Your body and your life will feel like it belongs to you again someday, I promise. Your story belongs to you and only you decide who deserves to hear it.
You don’t need an apology to find closure, what they did to you IS the closure.
You don’t need to forgive them in order to heal, some things just aren’t forgivable. Nothing about you and nothing you did caused the assault.
Your assault is still valid if you didn’t get justice or you chose not to report.
You don’t need to explain or validate yourself to others, you know what the truth is and that’s all that matters.
Healing is not linear, just because you have a bad day, week or month doesn’t mean that you’re not making progress.
One day you’ll realise that you’re not thinking about it as much as you used to, that your nightmares and flashbacks are less frequent, that you’re triggered less easily and that you feel at peace more often.
I see you, I believe you, I stand with you.